Heart Battery Overview

What’s Wrong With Me?

The question I have been asking in silence since I was a child. It turns out nothing is or was wrong with me, I just didn’t have the awareness, tools and techniques.

I was emotionally exhausted all the time?

Let’s have a look a some simple things in my journey and then build out from there.

You Can’t Out Thought Your Emotions :)

There was a time where I didn’t even realise my feelings were different to my thoughts and my thoughts are not my feelings.

For a long time I used my brain to process my emotions, adding a logical lable to them and then doing xyz activity to ‘fix’ these emotions.

This worked temporarily, I THOUGHT I had fixed them, yet over a period of time I would again get exhausted and need some time to recover.

My Dark Passenger & Going Dark

My best friend and I refer to this as our dark passenger where we would each strategically assign weekends and go dark. No external communications, just take time off from all the noise to recharge and recover.

This worked for a few years.

I began noticing the time intervals of 6-12 months reduced over a few years to every few months and then every month.

Putting Career on Hold

I’m Not Doing Another 10000 Hours of Work Until I fix ‘what is wrong with me’.

At the time my ego said it will take me 6 months.

I gave myself 5-10 years as I had a suspicion it would take longer and was adament to not allow myself to get back into a high pressure scenario until then.

Yearly Planning For My Dark Passenger

It got to a stage where my mental protocols for me became more efficient and I realised I had to add my dark passenger recovery protocols into my yearly plan.

Nothing External Worked

As a tech guy I am used to problem solving and using workarounds (one of my favourite concepts). It got to a stage where nothing worked anymore, to which let me to calling my GP.

GP Appointment Summary

• GP: would you like meds?
• Me: no thanks, do you have anything else?
• GP: I can refer you to Talking Space Oxford

Councilling

How Do You Feel?

Talking Space were wonderful, the CBT didn’t quite work and then referred me to a coucilling session. After talking for a while I got that question ‘how do you feel?‘

I Don’t Have feelings

I clearly remember replying I don’t know, I wasn’t allowed to have feeelings and genuinly don’t know what this work ‘feel’ means.

Opening Pandora’s Box

It was at this moment…

This one question and realisation that I have feelings was the beginning of a mega project, which I plan to document in the internal section of this Knowledge Base.

All of my own tools, techniques and protocols that I have personally stress tested.